I have this recurring dream that I'm being chased. I'm always with Kathrynn (trying to hide her) and enclosed somehow. Last night it was especially creepy.

Last night I was stuck in a building. I think it was a prison or some other kind of government facility. I had Kathrynn with me and I was trying to hide her because there was an escaped criminal murderer guy trying to get her. He was a big scary white guy. Bald with tattoos. There was a woman with us. Trying to help us hide. She worked there I think. Other than that there was no one else around. We would run and hide someplace (in a room, a closet, under stairs, whatever) and then realize that he was going to find us there so we'd run and hide somewhere else. Kathrynn didn't understand to be afraid. She kept talking to loud, giggling, and doing other things that were going to make it so he would find us. But I didn't want to scare her so I avoided telling her that this guy was going to kill us.

At one point we were in a secure room. We had lured him there because it was supposed to be able to hold him. He came in and he was on the otherside of a very 'Star Trek' forcefully but he was able to find the switch to turn it off. We managed to get out the door and lock it behind us but he used apparent super human strength to get through the door and come after us.

Running through the hall at one point I could see out the window and thought about what would happen if we got out to the building and then realized that outside we would be at a bigger disadvantage because there was nowhere to hide and he was ultimately faster than us.

I woke up before the end. Lying there thinking about the dream I realized it was a recurring dream and that I frequently have variations on this same dream. And it's always with Kathrynn and never Aiden. With Aiden it would be a much harder dream. He wouldn't go along with the running and hiding and is much harder to communicate with and tell to be quiet. I guess it's a good thing it's not Aiden or we would be dead!

Anyway, creepy dream, had to share. :-)

Anna posted a list of things she's never done on her blog a few days ago. Surprisingly, I have done most of those things that she has not. Not that having a cavity or breaking a bone are big accomplishments in life. :-)

I thought I should make a list of my own. It's actually easier than I thought. Except that almost everything I came up with was something sexual. LOL For starters I could list ALL the states I've NEVER had sex in. But it would be so much easier to list the ones I have and then just subtract it from 50. :-) So, 50-3=47. There are 47 states I've NOT had sex in! LOL That's a lot. Plus the whole entire rest of the world!

I guess the idea is to come up with things we haven't done that most people have! Which IS hard because while I feel like I've never done anything, the truth, I guess, is most people are in the same boat.

So I've never...
been waterskiing
met a celebrity
been snorkeling

That's all I can think of. LOL

Two of the weirdest things in life.

Recently a man that my husband knew died suddenly, tragically, leaving behind a new wife and an unborn child. I didn't know the man or his family so it wasn't an emotional thing for me. It seems that almost every time I have dealt with death in my life it was like this. From a sort of 'once removed' position. The conclusion I have come to is that death is weird.

I've heard it said that life is a big miracle but I feel that death is a bigger miracle. In creating life you take two living cells and they hook up and create a bigger cell which divides a zillion times into a big huge person. It's not really all the confusing or inexplicable. But then at death it all just disappears. It just stops. That's SO weird! I'm not big on the idea of an afterlife. I won't say there isn't one. But I'm also not sure there IS. My thoughts are more on a physical level.

I don't think death is a bad thing. While it IS sad it's also so normal and expected that it's extra weird that it's such a big thing. It does seem to be a pretty universal big thing though. Which really just makes it that much more interesting.

I was watching Law and order last night and it was about assisted suicide. The overall idea was that suicide is bad because in killing yourself you're selfishly ignoring the fact that there are people left behind who will be sad about it. I do really think that people who want to end their lives should be allowed to.

Of course I've never had someone close to me do that so maybe I would feel differently under different circumstances.

***

And the other thing...

Divorce is weird too. Kinda similar to death really.

I'll be married 7 years in December. And we've been through our 'trial by fire'. It's interesting though that I've watched several couples who got married about the same time as me grow apart and get divorced. It's... well, it's weird. That people could love eatch other and be married and share a life and then just end it.

But like death, it would seem the natural and logical step. Because people DO change. And people can realize years later that they made a mistake and want to change their lives. Or that they haven't made a mistake at all but that what was once really right, is no longer.

Maybe it's change in general that my head can't wrap around. Change has always hit me hard I think. But now that I've gotten older I don't have a huge emotional reaction. Instead I ponder and try to use logic. Maybe some things just don't require logic...

You are ERMA BOMBECK. Author and humorist, you
love to laugh at the foibles and follies of
modern living. You find the humor in every
situation, facing life with wit and keen
perception. The dust bunnies might be having a
field day under the beds, but your kids are all
tucked in with extra hugs and kisses.


Which Domestic Diva are you?
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In case you happen to read my blog, but not Mike's blog I had to link to this. I don't know why you wouldn't read Mike's blog. Maybe he called you a lesbian back in the day or something, but you really should read his blog. Hell, ESPECIALLY if he called you a lesbian back in the day you should read this link!

I could copy and paste it here. But Mike did post it first. And while I could even claim it was me who originally wrote it (hell, I could claim I AM Dr. Laura) I wouldn't do that. So just take a minute, click the link and go to Mike's blog. You won't regret it. Well, you might regret it if you're a fundamentalist Christian and you are adamantly against homosexuality... But really, if you are, why the hell are you reading MY blog? I don't like you! Go away!

Actually thins is my favorite type of yarn. How ever did they know?


You are Dishcloth Cotton.
You are a very hard worker, most at home when
you're at home. You are thrifty and seemingly
born to clean. You are considered to be a Plain
Jane, but you are too practical to notice.


What kind of yarn are you?
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I read a book. No, really, a cheesy, fictional, romance novel.

I was at Safeway and I was browsing the cheesy romance novels. This is not something I usually do, ever. But I was on a rare break from my kids and was trying to milk every minute I could from this shopping trip. All the romance novels looked pretty stupid. I looked a few over and at the very end I found The Ride to Dinah's Wedding by Ann Kline . It was the prettiest shade of green and the cover didn't have Fabio and a buxom blond on it. Instead it had a cartoon graphic of a bunch of people in a truck.

So on a whim I bought it. I thought 'Hey, just a cheap little book to pass some time with.' I didn't realize until AFTER I got home that it was $6!! Not that it's going to break the bank but if I had known I wouldn't have bought it.

It was good though. Cute. But I got all the way through and realized there was no sex! There were several semi-graphic dream sequences and one near sex scene. But no actual sex. No heaving milky white breasts or large throbbing members. I was surprised.

What it did have though was a pretty predictably happy ending and some nice kissing scene. Oh, and predictably stupid characters who did dumb things that are clear to the reader that they shouldn't do.

I picked up another book at Hastings yesterday. It's called Flowers for Mei-Ling by Lorraine Lachs. I thought it was more of a historical novel but so far it is mostly sex. Well and history too. But lots of sex. :-) And it's confusing! Each chapter is sort of a glimpse at different times in Mei-Ling's life. And it doesn't follow chronological order. So far though it's a good read. It's a big hardcover book and I got it for $2. A much better deal than the other book. Maybe. We'll see how the story ends.

I'm off to read now in fact so ta-ta.

Yes, it sounds like the latest in Reality TV Shows, but Dog Island is an actual project started by actual people who believe that pet ownership is the 'slavery' of the new millennium.

Actually this is something I sort of agree with. But knowing that there are people out there who feel this strongly about makes me feel like a freak just admitting it. The theory here is that humans used to enslave other humans and at the time the only 'issue' was "how well do we treat them or not" and the rightness of doing it at all never came up. Well, until it did come up and then eventually it was stopped (well that's the 'correct' way of looking at it, we all know that slavery still exists in the world, still exists in the US, and all that).

So now we enslave pets. Ok, we have always enslaved pets, but now we have become so humanitarian about things that we have to stop and wonder if it's 'right' to keep pets. To make them follow our whims, to buy and sell and breed them to our liking, to keep them from others of their kind either completely or with so much control that they have absolutely NO say in the matter.

So these 'fanatics' created Dog Island as an escape for dogs where they can be free to run, hunt, form packs, fight, and breed. A place where people who REALLY love their dogs will feel obligated to send them, never to see them again.

It's a sweet idea I guess. Maybe it's the frequent use of the term 'Dogologists' that makes me doubt it's overall legitimacy. It does sound like doggy utopia. Hell I wish they had an island like that for me to go live on.

This one quote left me a little cold though...

"My dog is very high strung and often gets into fights with other dogs. I can control this now, but what happens when fights break out on the island?Fights break out occasionally, but this is not a real issue, because eventually, the dogs learn to get along. Every now and then some dogs gang up and kill and then eat another dog, but this is just natural, and it's okay for it to happen now and then, but normally this is not the case. "

Sorry. If I had a dog (which I don't, because I don't believe in dog slavery ;o) ) I wouldn't be sending him off any time soon.

Today I wound up online searching for anatomical posters. These can be purchased very cheaply on eBay for about $5-$10 or you can buy them from online companies for like $80. I'm not sure why there's such a huge difference but I can tell you I won't be spending no $80 on a poster! Ever! Even though they are REALLY cool!

From anatomical posters I wandered into anatomical models. Again, so incredibly expensive, but cool, oh, so cool! These are the lifesize skeleton replicas and digestive system replicas (can you tell I'm a bit of a biology nut?) I was at one site and they had these links on their sidebar...

CATEGORIES

Anatomical Models

Medical Posters

Replica Skulls/ Skeletons

Other Gifts

Insects

Other gifts? Doesn't that imply that you are already giving people full size hand bone replicas and posters of the endocrine system as gifts. And then there are others? You know I had to check it out. And you should too. Definitely gifts for the person who has everything. Things like a real (big) scorpion mounted and framed. Or perhaps that special someone really deserves a preserved severed alligator head!

But the best of all? The penis bones. Who knew that a lot of animals (but suspiciously NOT humans) have penis bones? This was certainly news to me. Here's the brief description. Definitely worth plagiarizing here...

"With the exception of man, most primates, rodents, and several other animal groups, have a penis bone, called a "baculum". Located within the erectile tissue, this bone provides rigidness to aid in copulation."

You should definitely go check this out for yourself but in case you don't I have to tell you that for the low, low price of $29.00 you can get 4 genuine (no, baby, these aren't replicas) penis bones. Featuring Fox, Coyote, Mink and Raccoon (and Raccoon, by the way deserves a BIG round of applause!). All in a handsome glass display case!

So much for man being a 'superior' species! :-)

I never know exactly what to do for Easter. I will admit that in the past we have always done as close to absolutely nothing as possible. See, in the past our kids were little. And they really didn't care. They don't have preconceived notions of what Easter might entail so if they got a small bucket of candy sometime in procrastinator's realm of mid-afternoon on Easter day they were pretty content.

This year the Easter Bunny made it's first real appearance at our home. See in the past we've been pretty much in denial about the whole league of holiday gift bringers. We denied Santa and The Easter Bunny both. But this year the Tooth Fairy has been a big player at our house which has apparently opened the floodgates which now allows all of these otherworldly benefactors in. So candy appeared in the baskets today.

Kathrynn's reaction was "Not more candy!" We already had the baskets and had gone to an egg hunt on Friday. So the kids were pretty loaded already with candy eggs. When she saw that there was even more candy in it she was a bit annoyed at that pesky chocolate dropping rabbit. She sampled it a bit and then went outside to play with the other kids. That's where she learned the true meaning of the holiday. The Easter Basket Competition. The boys upstairs got bows and arrows and plastic knives in their baskets (???). Her best friend got Jelly Beans and chocolates.

I think Kathrynn's basket held it's own against the competition. And she shared it all too so she at least won Miss Congeniality. ;-)

Aiden just woke up and refused to look at his basket. When I brought it to him he batted it away screaming "NO". Damn Heathen!

It's 11:43 am and Easter is well underway. The Afternoon and evening will involve time with my WHOLE extended family so I should enjoy the peace now, I guess, in preparation for the war later.

Nothing like another 'Family Holiday'!

Shawn got the job! He starts Monday! Yippee!!!!

Thanks to the combined effort of Jennifer at Schmoo Blog and the fine people at The Name Game. I will further be known as Floozy Chicken Brains. Or The Reverend Floozy Chicken Brains if I'm serving in my official capacity. Thanks Jennifer!

My husband got a job :-D
My baby got a haircut :-(
I got MONEY!! :-)

Ok the big news of course is that my husband got a job. A REAL job!! Yeah!!! Actually he isn't technically hired yet. He went in for his drug screening today and they have to get his background check back but neither of those should pose a problem! YEAH!!! He'll be working 6pm -2:30 am. OK, that kinda sucks. Especially since Kathrynn just started t-ball and the practices are also at 6pm. But he has a JOB!!!!

Aiden got a haircut. Well, that's putting it nicely. He got butchered. It was very traumatic for him and me. I cried. Not about the hair. But because I was unable to save him from the haircut because I'm a chicken shit. Long story, very depressing. So I won't go on about it. Just know that it's a sore spot for me so when you see him please don't make a big huge deal over his hair, or I might cry. Of course if you WANT to see me cry. This might be the way to do it!

I got my tax return today. And it was twice what I was expecting!! The IRS has managed to do that for the last two years. I've stopped questioning it. If they are going to send me extra money I will consider it a gift from the gods of big government and spend it happily. And this one is going straight into... the deposit on a house in Richland!! Yep, we're moving! Finally! That is assuming that Shawn does in fact get this job. Probably we will be moving next month. Grin, grin, happy happy!

I'm gonna be in a book, I'm gonna be in a book!! :-)

The other day I wrote something on the Unschooling.com message boards. And a lot of people commented that it made sense and was funny and the Rue Kream contacted me this morning to ask for permission to quote me in a book she is writing with Valerie Fitzenreiter (author of The Unprocessed Child). It schedualed for publishing next year.

And I'm going to be in it!!!

It's amazing that something I pulled out of the air at 2 in the morning is going to be in a book!

Can you tell I'm thrilled? LOL

Friday my sister generously took Kathrynn to see Homeward Bound with her girls, in the theatre.

Upon bringing her home she said. "I would rather take ALL of my kids and ALL of their friends to a movie than take Kathrynn". Apparently Kathrynn did everything 'in the world' that she could to require my sister to say "Kathrynn!" Hundreds of times.

Her biggest complaint is that "If Kathrynn is going to wear just dresses all the time she needs to learn to act like a 'lady' in them"

Blech!

It's that very idea that makes me SO adverse to wearing dresses. All those years of shaming and reprimand made me HATE them.

Yes, Kathrynn wears dresses all the time, I don't feel like she should be PUNISHED for it. So what if her underwear show when she's hanging upside down at the park. She's 5!!! It's not like she's NOT wearing underwear! Isn't that the point of underwear? To cover your ass? Why do the underwear have to be covered as well?

According to my sister I'm intentionally doing all I can to make Kathrynn as unable to fit into society as possible!! LOL

Sorry, not all of us are willing to shame our kids for acting like kids so that they can grow up and be neurotic members of 'society'.

She actually said to me "She doesn't even know what 'I see London' means!". Oh the shame of it, the horror! My POOR unsocialized daughter has never been taunted and teased for having her underwear showing. How will she ever survive. May as well just plan for her to live here with me until she's 40!

She also said she caught HER daughter and another niece on the trampoline playing 'doctor'. That Kathrynn WASN'T doing it but she was sure that she had something to do with it.

Oh, also Kathrynn apparently told her girls that boys can kiss (each other) and a debate ensued. I had a good laugh about that but my sister said (with a totally straight face) that they shouldn't have to know about such questionable things at their age. (How big can I roll my eyes??).

Sometimes I can't believe we're half related!

I Went to the park on Thursday and who should be there but The Adulterous Whore! And here I thought DOGS were supposed to be on LEASHES!!! MWAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA!!!

Ok that's not nice. But I do feel like I should get to say really snarky, out of character things about her. I wonder how long that should last. I wonder if there is a statute of limitations on how long you can bitch about someone and publicly defame their character after they sleep with your husband...

But anyway, she was at the park. I saw her right as we were walking up. I just ignored her and went to the other side of the playground. Good old non-confrontational me. There were well over 100 kids there at the park on this beautiful, sunny Thursday but in all the hustle and bustle it didn't take long at all for Kathrynn to team up with The Adulterous Whore's daughter and play with her the whole time we were there. Grrrrr. And it wasn't like they were seeking each other out either. The didn't recognize each other at all, they just happened to find a 'new friend'.

My sister also came to the park. She's not nearly as non-confrontational as me. In fact while walking past The Adulterous Whore's table my sister noticed she was 'looking at her' so she said to her. "If you had any compassion at all you would take your sorry ass to another park."

Sometimes I wish I were more like my sister. Ok, not usually, but on rare occasions like this.