It's been a while since I blogged. Some days I think of things I might want to blog but then I decide that going through the work of actually doing so is just too much. Most days though there's really nothing to blog on. Here's my basic day..

Get up

Leave sleeping family and go to work.

Come home.

Spend time on computer.

Make dinner.

Go to bed.

Repeat.

See nothing worth blogging. Not that really blog worthy things don't happen at work. They do. It's just they would only really be interesting to someone who worked with me. Since most days I work ALONE, well, basically the stories are only worth telling to myself... And I do, and it's a good time and all.

There are a few things that happen in my life OUTSIDE of work. But I don't blog about much of that for a few reasons.

1) Too whiney. My husband and Bro-in-law are out of work so I'm supporting a family of 5 (including 2 smokers) on my minimum wage, not quite full time job. That won't last long. There's only so many times I could blog about that before we would all be so depressed we'd want to shoot ourselves.

2) Too boring. Unless you want to know about the stir fry we've had for the last week (because stir fry id damn cheap to make!) or the card games we've been playing in the evenings there's really not much to tell about my time at home on my days off.

3) Too explicit. There's not a lot to do when you're broke and can't go out. So sometimes you have to improvise. You don't want to hear about any of that either. ;-)

4) Too depressing. Outside of actual things going on in my real life there are always things going on in my head. But right now it's all depressing. I feel unmotivated, and directionless. I feel like even if I wanted to do something, take some kind of action and get out of this rut I can't because the rut is too god damn deep and the sides are covered in ice!

So there you go. Nothing to read here.

Do you ever feel like if you read the paper anymore you might have to kill yourself? Or barring that you might just have to kill EVERYONE ELSE?

Work has been slow with the snow and all so I've been reading the paper in my down time. I do realize that the news I read comes to me through filters, the Government filter, the press filter, and then the individual publications filters. That alone pisses me off. It bothers me that the news we are rationed is so sugar coated. Sometimes I feel like the proverbial mushroom, sitting in the dark, getting fed bullshit.

I know there are steps to take to get more accurate news. I know of people who get their news from sources outside the US. That does seem more balanced but I have to remember that those sources have their own agendas as well.

All my life I have been raised with the belief that the US is this super fantastic place with top notch health care, schools, democracy and blah, blah, blah. Everyone else in the world wants to escape their own oppressive lives and come to the great US of A and live the good life. So much so they risk their lives to do so. Because after all we are way cool and stand for FREEDOM!

I think I still sort of believed all of that until 9-11. At that point a light went on and I realized "Hey they aren't attacking us because they want to be like us. They HATE us." It was a revelation. Since then my view of the US has crumbled bit by bit and in giant chunks.

I'm not itching to run off to some other country. I know they all have their own problems.

I think my only logical solution is to win the lottery, buy myself that private island I've always wanted and become an independent nation. As an independent nation I will do my very best not to piss any other nations off. I will keep my politics to myself.

Oddly the article that sparked these most recent feelings was not political. It was about the infant mortality rate in the US. It said that there are 41 other countries with LOWER infant mortality rates that us. Which is GOOD for them but a little startling considering we think of ourselves as such a developed nation.

The article was short and didn't have much in the way of thought behind it. It basically listed a bunch of statistics with no attempts to explain them. I can think of a few ways in which their numbers might be skewed but there wasn't even enough information given to speculate on them.

Still, alarming.

My daughter confuses me. On the one hand I don't think I've encountered a child who whines more than Kathrynn. It's like an art form to her, and one she happens to be REALLY good at. She's very demanding. Also it seems every time I leave the room she immediatly starts to torture Aiden. Some days I just sit and wonder what I did to deserve such an unruly grate-on-your-nerves sort of child.

But when we're out in public she amazes me. She's so outgoing, so assertive and self confident. She's six and she's an expert at flagging down a waiter at a restaurant and ordering exactly what she wants. We were at Outback for Shawn's birthday on Sunday and she said "excuse me" to our waitress as she passed by because she wanted a drink refill. No prompting by us, she didn't even tell us! She just did it. Yesterday we were at the grocery store and she had a conversation with the (stranger) lady in line in front of us for a good 10 minutes. She likes to go in the dollar store by herself while I wait outside. Pick out her own item, purchase it, and come back.

I'm so impressed by how outgoing she is. I don't know a lot of other kids like that. I don't think I was like that. Or if I was I quickly learned not to be.

The thing is I know that those two seemingly unrelated traits are just different manifestations of the same trait. The quality that makes her whiney and demanding (I don't know for sure about torturing her brother) at home, is the same quality that allows her to go out in the world and ask for what she needs.

I suppose the only real difference is that at home we don't always value that assertiveness as much as we do in public.

She's so honest too. It's amazing. And so full of questions!

We have the book 'It's Perfectly Normal'. I was keeping it on a shelf in the toyroom until the kids were old enough for it. The other day I noticed the book jacket on the ground and the book missing. I asked her about it. She told me it was up in her room under her dresser that she and the neighbor had been laughing at all the naked pictures. She went and got it for me and asked me to read it to her. Start to finish. She's fascinated. Shawn is appalled. lol

It's hard. I don't want to stifle her. Because all of those traits she has are fantastic and will really serve her well in the future. But right now, in my six year old, they can be a bit frustrating!

After almost exactly 7 blissfull years of marriage I have developed an itchy painful rash on my left ring finger under my wedding band.



The rash has made it necessary for me to take my ring off for the time being and to endure countless comments from my husband about doing so.

My mom's comment was that he just needs to buy me a better more expensive, less likely to cause a rash ring. This is not the likely outcome. :-)

Look what we got at Fred Meyer...



BARRETTES!! Hooray!

I've noticed that sightings of people from my past have started to increase at a drastic rate. It may be because of where I work. I have this theory that since "The Gas Station Formally Known as Jackpot" has been a staple in the community so long that if I work here long enough I will eventually meet every person who lives in, or has ever lived in, Richland. The other thing that has picked up is the number of times each day that I hear "I know I know you from somewhere". It was uncanny before. Now it's gotten downright annoying. Not a day goes by that I don't hear it. Even on my days off when I'm not at work and instead I'm out around town people recognize me (likely from work) but can't place how they know me.

There's a regular customer who comes to my store every day or so. In my mind he's "cowtail guy" because he always buys cowtails for his grandmother. My boss even ordered him a whole box of them. We talk a little each time he comes in. He seemed familiar but not in any big obvious way.

The other day he came in with his mom and happened to pay with his debit card where he usually pays with cash. I glanced at his name. Daniel Doscher. Holy God it was Danny Doscher! Which is almost exactly what I said. We went to Jefferson Elementary school together from Kindergarten to 4th grade. And , of course, I had a HUGE crush on him. Which I also said out loud and his mother said "You had a crush on my son?" it was priceless, really.

He came in again the next day and we talked some more. The funny thing is I remember him by name only I don't remember anything ABOUT him. I remember having a big crush on Danny Doscher but it was like 20 years ago!

The other night the family and I were at my parents. I did something (I don't remember exactly what right now) and it made a loud noise which startled Kathrynn.

She turned to me and said

"Mom! You scared the chickens out of me!"

LOL