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Sunday, July 31, 2005

Katie Is... 

OK I had to do this because it sounded way too intriguing.

So, in order of appearance...

Katie is a GPL'd revision control system. Wow! Who knew??

Katie is hard at work. Ha ha ha.

Katie is an intelligent woman with a level head on her
shoulders.
Why thank you!

Katie is also very active at St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church in Boulder, CO. Should I write and confess the truth?

Katie is not some poor and unsuspecting girl. Amen!!

Katie is no stunt. Damn!

Katie is alive. Glad to find that one. Especially after learning about Leanne's fate.

Katie is alive today only because of the "lying fascists" you despise. Uhh...Ok.

OK That's all of page one.Therere are more from other pages but I won't link them it's too much work and I'm lazy... I mean I'm in a hurry. :)

Katie is a hottie. :)

A day with Katie is like being in clear warm sunshine after weeks in the fog. Awwww.

Katie is helping thousands change their thinking and their
lives. See see?!?!

Katie is just plain cute. Of course she is.

Katie is Satan. Of course she is!

Katie is now pain free and running and playing. Must be some other Katie.

~KaTiE iS tHe BeSt~
OK why do people do that?? I don't understand. Even though I am the best and all.

Katie Is Weird. Shhhh.

Katie is a terrific kid with a great sense of humor, a deep love of people and
music, and is my primary motivation in life. Gee I should get to know this person.

Katie is very young still and needs to put her head together. So true, so true.

Katie is Gone. Perfect exit.

Comments-[ comments.]

Friday, July 29, 2005

Single Parent? 

Now it's Shawn's turn with the kids. He's only going to have them for two nights, only until 4pm on Sunday. I can totally handle that. I am totally OK with them being without me for a while. We've done it before. No big deal.

But Aiden refused to say goodbye to me. And when I kissed him anyway in his carseat he cried and cried and said he wanted to stay and that he didn't want me to go. I REALLY don't think I can handle this for the next 13 years!! :'(

We had to sit down with Kathrynn tonight and explain things to her as best as we could. We had been talking about it too much around her without involving her. She had a pretty good idea what was going on. So we assured her that as soon as we knew what was going to happen we would let her know and explained our plans that we have made as well as we could.

Right now I'm staying with my sister. This can't be long term. Shawn's staying at the house and we will shuffle kids back and forth depending on who's working. Eventually I'm going to have to go to work full time. And unfortunately the kids will probably both (sob!) be going to school. I'm considering getting my own place. There's a lot of me that I need to find and d Shawn is actually very understanding about it. I will either get my on place or I will move back into the house and we will have separate bedrooms. That will all be decided by the end of the month. There's so much to decide. So much talking that needs to happen. It's going to be a long month.

Comments-[ comments.]

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Stay Tuned 

Shawn and I have decided to separate for a short time. To have a little time apart to think about everything.

So tomorrow I'm headed to Seattle for 4 days to regain my sanity. The plan is to spend some (more) time this weekend discussing the marriage and if it's worth saving. Then see what happens. So I don't know if the separation is going to be for a week, a month, or forever.

Part of me feels like a 'trial separation' is just prolonging the inevitable. But I don't know. There's something to be said for the radical honesty that gushes forth after a big huge blowup. It's cleansing. For the moment, at least, I'm feeling optimistic that everything will work out and be good. Not sure if that definitely means staying together all happy-couple-y or not but I'm feeling pretty good about the whole situation. For now.

I also talked to Kat for an hour or so which was also cleansing.

I'm looking foreword to my little vacation.

Stay tuned.

;)

Comments-[ comments.]

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Kat 

... I think the universe hates me. Or at the very least my husband does.

For starters I've decided to stop referring to the girl who had an affair with my husband ad The Adulterous Whore. I decided that because if I refer to her as such then I should rightly refer to my husband as My Adulterous Husband and really I would have to refer to myself as My Adulterous Self. Besides being wordy it all seems a little petty. So I will just refer to her as Kat. As that is her name. And since everything I say here will be 100% true and accurate I will feel absolutely no remorse over using her actual name.

Generally speaking most of my year goes by and I don't have to think much about Kat. I hear something here or there or run into her at the park but mostly she is way on the periphery of my life. Then my sister-in-law shows up for her summer here and suddenly I have to think about her, pick Maria up at her house, call her house and risk having to speak with her, see her as she drops Maria off at my house, etc, etc, etc.

A few days ago Maria asked me if she could get portraits of my kids to take back with her to Alaska. Not something I would object to at all. But she wanted to get them taken WITH KAT'S GIRLS!! Maybe it was childish of me to say no. But goddamn it we are NOT all one big happy family! It irks me to no end.

Then last night Shawn, Maria, and Neal were going to go out. Maria leaves for Alaska tomorrow so a little sibling bonding, drinking, seemed appropriate. There was a little ambiguity about who all was going where and it seemed to me that the choices were either they were going to go to a bar or they were going to go get drinks and come back home and hang out. I wasn't terribly worried. Mostly I was just tired from being sick so the kids and I went to bed early trusting that they were all grown up enough to handle themselves.

At 3:30 in the morning!! Shawn comes staggering in. Turns out they went and bought alcohol and took it to KAT'S PLACE! Where they got drunk and played quarters until the wee-est hours of the morning. Shawn assures me nothing happened. And I believe him but I still feel damn pissed about it!

Today I had to work. I got off at 5 and Shawn called a bit before then to tell me that Maria had set up an appointment for Shawn, Maria and Neal to have portraits done at the mall. I asked him point blank if Kat was going to be there. He said "No, I doubt it, well maybe, probably because she would be driving Maria." And she did. And she was. So I got to hang out at the mall with Kat. No one seems to have any clue why in the hell this would bother me!

I was a mess. On the one hand I just wanted to take my kids and go elsewhere until it was all over. But I felt like if I leave, she 'wins'. I know that's stupid. But it seems in my overactive brain that she should be the one to back off. She should be the one to take her kids and step out of MY FAMILY'S event and be the fucking chauffeur. But she didn't and our girls played. I tried to be as nice as you can be while completely ignoring someone's presence.

While we waited for the pictures to be developed Maria and Kat went their own way and my family went to eat at the food court. Shawn was getting annoyed at me for being so glum. GLUM!?!? What the fuck? I asked him what exactly he expected me to do? Be friends with her? It's not even that she messed with my husband. Whatever. I'm over that. I just HATE HER!! I hate that everytime I have to see her it's like a slap in the face. I hate that when I see them together talking, as friends, he seems happy. I just want to shoot them both.

OK, maybe I'm over reacting. I know I'm too judgmental not to mention incredibly two faced about the whole thing.

But you know what he still has yet to say I'm sorry. And he never will and I'm going to have to put up with this shit every summer for the next 13 years!

Comments-[ comments.]

Friday, July 22, 2005

Non-Specific Viral Infection of Undetermined Origin 

Yeah, I'm sick and I don't know what it is or where I got it. The above is my own official diagnosis. Good enough for me.

Basically I just feel like crap everywhere. I want to just sleep and sleep and when I'm awake I'm a little congested but not a whole colds worth.

And being sick makes me really grumpy AND it makes my kids think they need to jump on me.

What is it with these little people? Have they no personal boundaries. I sit or lie down and they feel like they have to be ON me! I only seem to really notice it when I'm sick.

I slept from 8pm tonight until one when I had to get up and pee and remove the little people from my bed. I felt somewhat rested so I decided to get my computer time in and now I'm off to bed to actually get my nights sleep.

I blame my sister entirely because I had suck a crappy stressful day on top of not feeling well. I'll tell you about it another time though because my bed is calling to me.

Comments-[ comments.]

Pink Hair Out On The Town 

Society never ceases to amaze me.

I really expected more negativity regarding the pink hair. But strangely the response has been overwhelmingly positive. In fact the only negative comments I have gotten at all have been from my family! LOL

I may just have negativity deflecting shields of something because I NEVER got negative comments or glances in all my years of public breastfeeding either. So either people are just more accepting than I think or I just am clueless and missing a lot going on around me. Possible.

I think it's the part of me that still feels like I'm 17 that was sure people would HATE the hair. I remember wanting really badly, to shave my head in highschool but not doing it because I would have to deal with people's comments on it EVERY DAY! I remember how important it all was back then. Not that I was ever in style anyway, not nearly, but it seemed very important back then to not draw any unnecessary attention to myself. To lie low, so to speak, and not do anything that would give anyone a reason to pick on me.

There's this backward thinking that still goes on in my head. "I'm not cool. And any attempt at being cool will only be met by ridicule for trying to be cool. So it's best to not even try and to be mocked for just not being cool in the first place."

Man, highschool screwed with me!

Last night I was going into Subway and a random older woman came up to me and told me my hair was lovely. In Albertsons the lady in the bakery asked how I got it so pink. People all over stop me and tell me they really like my hair. Or they just ignore it completely. I suppose those are the people who don't like it, or the one's who don't know what to say. And that's cool. It's refreshing to know that even people who probably HATE my hair are polite enough to keep it to themselves.

But I wonder if they could refrain from commenting if I were not a grown-up?

Comments-[ comments.]

Monday, July 18, 2005

TinyPic 

I do most of my photo hosting for my blog on Tinypic.com because it's fast and convenient. They also have a feature where you can look at other random pictures that they host. They are all random and none of that have titles or links to the site they are from so it's sort of like finding someone's envelope of photos on the ground and not knowing anything about who they are, why, how they are important, none of it (well unless there's text on the picture, and some times there is). It's fun.

You see a lot of people standing with friends, stuff people are selling somewhere, kids, dogs, sunsets, even the occasional amateur porn. (though it's technically against the rules and there is a link to report them).

Anyway whenever I host a pic I get caught up for a while looking at other people's pictures. The voyeur in me I guess.


Today I ran across this...

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

I HAD to steal it. I apologize to the person I stole it from. But I have no way of giving them credit. And I had to have it. LOL

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Vaguely Me 

Well Dawn had a point. Not everyone can see my hair live and in person. I tried playing with my camera and taking pictures of it but really none of them does it justice.

This is a teaser picture for you though. Doesn't show off the cut at all but I swear I didn't alter the colors in any way! :)

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

Purple Hair 

I've been wanting to dye my hair purple for a while now. I's finally come to the point where I've told enough people I was going to do it. So I HAD to.

And here I sit waiting 30 minutes for my purple hair. Problem. It's not purple. It's REALLY not purple. The box said fuchsia and on the Asian model against her black hair it looks pretty purple-ish. On me though it's DAMN PINK! We're talking Ronald McDonald's lesbian sister pink!

It's not terrible. It will be fun. My husband screamed when he walked in just now. LOL

We had Aiden's birthday party today we went with Chuck E. Cheese because we had coupons. We still spent nearly $100 but it was fun. It was the first time my parents saw my buzzed head. They didn't handle it very well. Well my mom was pretty ok about it but my dad was downright livid. He said "I guess you just don't mind if people talk about you behind your back." And it wasn't in a joking tone. He was serious. He said he was just glad he wasn't going to live much longer to see what I might do next and said I wasn't allowed to come to his funeral if my head was shaved. He's a weird man. And taking the whole "I don't have much longer to live" thing a bit far I think.

Now that I've had my buzzed head for a bit with the long bangs, I'm getting annoyed with the bangs. I really want to shave them off. Don't know that I'm ready to go totally buzzed though. And I really don't want to have short bangs on a shaved head. I dislike that look. So I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll like the bangs better when they are colored. We'll see. It says not to use the fuchsia dye on bleached hair though. Maybe the bangs will dissolve and I won't have to worry about them anymore...

And of course I forgot to take any before pictures. I always do that. I'm too impatient.

Oh, did I mention that Kathrynn's getting some stripes in her hair too? Just a few. They will probably look way better on her than they do on me. Shawn seemed annoyed. I don't really get that because he was all over it two years ago when we gave Kathrynn purple stripes on her 5th birthday! Apparently now that she's almost 7 it's a whole different issue?

only 10 more minutes to kill. Kathrynn wants to play UNO so I will update this after I rinse.

Update:

I was going to take a picture and post it. But I really don't think one picture can hold all of this pink! LOL Oh My Fricking God! No, you will really have to see this in person to appreciate it's grandeur.

Lets just say fichsia isn't purple at all and my bangs are intact and, well, intense.

I wonder now what my boss will say. ;) And I have yet to face my husband who's nose is still bent out of shape over the buzzing...

But Kathrynn's looks cool and she will surely be the envy of all the kids at summer school. Tee hee.

Katie

Comments-[ comments.]

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Twilight Zone 

In what has to have been the most unexpected turn of events in my life thus far I went out drinking last night WITH MY SISTER! The same sister who told on me to mommy for drinking rum and coke in my own house not 4 months ago!

Her friend Sheila is at the tail end of a bad divorce. So she wanted to go out and chose Ali to go with her. I was invited along. I never in my life planned to get drunk in a bar with my sister. It was an eye opening experience. We had to walk home.

And now I'm hungover and have to go to work.

I just realized that the last two entries here were about going out to bars. Really there's lots to my life in between bars I assure you. My life is not all debauchery. I also went to the steel drum concert last night where I saw Mary Ellen and I shaved my head which Mary Ellen can attest to.

Comments-[ comments.]

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Out & About 

So, my good friend Anna is in town for the weekend to pick up the new green Dodge Neon her daddy bought her. Yes she's a spoiled only child, yes I hate her, yes I'm jealous!

We managed to grab a small amount of time to go out last night to the Out&About in Pasco. Have you been there? It's the only 'gay bar' in the Tri-Cities as far as I know. I had always heard of it as a young person and lately my husband has wanted to go check it out (because he knows a guy who's brother is the owner) but I had never gone there before.

The problem was that we were on a rather tight schedule. We showed up there right around 8 and Anna had a ten o'clock curfew. Eight to ten is not exactly premium bar time. LOL

We got there and there were literally only two other people there! LOL More people started to trickle in over the course of the night but by the time we left there were still only 15 or so people in there. At one point this guy came and sat near us. He offered to buy us drinks. I didn't mean to offend him but apparently I did by buying my own drink. He left shortly after that. LOL

Shortly after the first guy left this other guy came up and sat with us. He was older (like my parents age older!) but he was nice and talked to us a bit about Seattle and stuff. He was very gay. And very sweet. His name was Jesse and we talked to him until we had to leave.

We left just before 10 and knew there was no way Anna was going to make it to drop me off and be back to her parents by 10 so she called and bought another hour from daddy. She had been talking all evening about wanting her haircut so when we got to my house I cut her hair. I think it came out pretty good. But honestly, I was DRUNK! I don't know that letting drunk Katie cut her hair is the wisest choice Anna ever made. On the upside she didn't cry! I cut her hair once before when we were in college and it went badly! LOL

We took pictures. Maybe she will post them.

Anyway my review of the Out&About. Lame before 10. Judging by the website it's not always lame, but when we were there it was pretty damn lame. The saddest part is I will probably go again someday, with my husband and it will be more fun. Just because we'll go later. Doesn't seem altogether fair. :)

Comments-[ comments.]

Friday, July 01, 2005

Natural Chaos 

I noticed something about myself yesterday while looking at my sister's to-do list. I need downtime. It's not really something I had ever thought of much before. I've always said that if I have more than one scheduled activity in a day I feel overbooked (and that's true) but I realized it's not just how many activities there are but how much (unscheduled) down time there is in between them.

My sister's to-do list for yesterday had 13 things on it! I kid you not. One after another after another starting with breakfast at the school at 8am and culminating in the Soccer game at 7:15pm Between that there were kids getting dropped off classes, doctor appointments. It was insane! And as a joke she had added #14 DIE! 9:00 pm to the bottom of the list. LOL

Between being at her house most of the day and going to soccer in the evening I had to take a break. I could have just hung out with her all day but I said no I have important stuff I have to do at home before soccer. And I did. I needed some time to just chill. So did Aiden. Even Kathrynn was looking a little ragged and just needed some time to be 'off' before the game.

Turned out that Shawn's sister came over and we talked and waited for Shawn to get home. And that was fine. But if that had been scheduled. Something I was planning and felt obligated to do, it would have been stressful.

This sums up a lot of my feelings lately. I love my life in all of it's scattered unorganizedness. I don't want that to change. I try to get organized thinking it will be a good thing but it seems that my life prefers the natural state of chaos. :) Path of least resistance and all that.

I don't know, just had to write some of that down for me. LOL

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