Two of the weirdest things in life.

Recently a man that my husband knew died suddenly, tragically, leaving behind a new wife and an unborn child. I didn't know the man or his family so it wasn't an emotional thing for me. It seems that almost every time I have dealt with death in my life it was like this. From a sort of 'once removed' position. The conclusion I have come to is that death is weird.

I've heard it said that life is a big miracle but I feel that death is a bigger miracle. In creating life you take two living cells and they hook up and create a bigger cell which divides a zillion times into a big huge person. It's not really all the confusing or inexplicable. But then at death it all just disappears. It just stops. That's SO weird! I'm not big on the idea of an afterlife. I won't say there isn't one. But I'm also not sure there IS. My thoughts are more on a physical level.

I don't think death is a bad thing. While it IS sad it's also so normal and expected that it's extra weird that it's such a big thing. It does seem to be a pretty universal big thing though. Which really just makes it that much more interesting.

I was watching Law and order last night and it was about assisted suicide. The overall idea was that suicide is bad because in killing yourself you're selfishly ignoring the fact that there are people left behind who will be sad about it. I do really think that people who want to end their lives should be allowed to.

Of course I've never had someone close to me do that so maybe I would feel differently under different circumstances.

***

And the other thing...

Divorce is weird too. Kinda similar to death really.

I'll be married 7 years in December. And we've been through our 'trial by fire'. It's interesting though that I've watched several couples who got married about the same time as me grow apart and get divorced. It's... well, it's weird. That people could love eatch other and be married and share a life and then just end it.

But like death, it would seem the natural and logical step. Because people DO change. And people can realize years later that they made a mistake and want to change their lives. Or that they haven't made a mistake at all but that what was once really right, is no longer.

Maybe it's change in general that my head can't wrap around. Change has always hit me hard I think. But now that I've gotten older I don't have a huge emotional reaction. Instead I ponder and try to use logic. Maybe some things just don't require logic...