I found a diet I simply must try.

There is a young woman who we'll call "Julie"** who comes into my work twice a day to buy her food. I call it food in the loosest sense of the word because it is what I would generally categorize as crap.

This is a meal for "Julie"...

1 Small soda (I haven't asked what kind it is and I'm not creepy enough to watch and find out. I would have to guess it's probably NOT diet)
1 Hostess (Ho Ho's, Twinkies, Donettes, whatever suits her that day)
2 Candy Bars (Reeses, Snickers, an occasional York Peppermint Patty)

Breakfast of champions, no?

And, well, lunch too because I kid you not she comes in twice a day and buys this! Every weekday (she works at a nearby bank).

At this point I'm sure you're thinking my above statement that I simply must try this diet was sarcastic. That surely this carb hungry sugar junkie must be big as a house. But the punchline here people is NO. She's not. She's got the body of a champion figure skater who dances ballet in her spare time! She's amazingly thin.

Thin enough that I want to vomit on her.

And she's nice too which makes me want to kick her AS I vomit on her!

But one has to admire her willpower. I honestly don't think I could stomach such a diet. I'd be a jittery ball of goo on the floor.


**All names have been changed to protect the innocent. But as she's not really innocent, well this might just be her real name!