I really didn't think it was possible for my brother to be a bigger asshole. But today he proved me wrong.

This year the annual Yelling and Hatred Christmas Party will be held at my brothers house. I don't know why we all bother to get together for the holidays I think the only joy I ever feel is the joy that I don't have to live with these people anymore.

I think I've written about my older brother Eddie before. I don't even know where to start. He got married young, ended up in the Navy and moved away from here with his wife and kid when I was still little. He's been gone, married living his own life for almost 20 years now and then decides it's a good idea to move back to the Tri-Cities. So here I am, all grown up, 27 and with kids of my own and he absolutely refuses to see me as anything but the 8 year old I was when he left. It's beyond infuriating.

Because their house is the most accommodating for a crowd he gets to host Christmas dinner. Today, December 20th, he calls me and asks if I'm planning to bring anyone extra for Christmas. I tell him no that I'm just bringing my family. He asks if Shawn's brother is coming. I reply that yes that is the plan.

Apparently the whole call was staged to let me know that Neal isn't welcome because he's not family. Hu? He's MY family! Apparently my brother considers Shawn family but not his brother. Which makes NO sense.

I told him that was stupid. He said he just wanted me to know his feelings on the matter. He said it's a family gathering and it's not for outsiders (gee, some Christmas spirit). Whatever.

Then he says he's only hosting dinner to help mom out and that he didn't think she'd want him there. Oddly mom has told me nothing except how much she wants Neal to feel like part of the family and how she would be a little offended if he didn't come to Christmas. I told my brother that and again he goes on with the "I just wanted to let you know where we stand." I say if it's going to be a problem we'll just do our own thing here and skip it. He called me infantile. I had to hang up!

I was so incredibly pissed and offended.

I was actually crying because I was so angry and hurt by him. I called my mom (yes, to tattle) and I could barely even speak to her I was so upset.

So I don't know what to do.

On the one hand I don't want to go. I don't want to go at all and be near him and his stupid judgments. We can have a fine relaxed fun Christmas here by ourselves.

On the other hand if we don't go he will never let go of how WE ruined Christmas by boycotting it because I was acting like a spoiled brat and blah, blah, blah. On top of that I would have to have a good excuse for not going to give to Shawn and Neal because I sure as hell couldn't tell them what he said.

But if we go there's sure to be a ton of tension which will just spoil Neal's first chance to meet everyone. (Yes, he's lived here 2 months and managed to only meet my mom).

But I feel like I should go and be the bigger person here.

Sigh

Families suck!