Kathrynn has chosen to be enrolled in a summer reading 'camp' provided by the public school (AKA. Summer School). My feelings are so mixed about this that it has been three days before I'm finally writing about it.

First off she LOVES it. After the first class she came running out telling me how much she loved it. How they learned to read and how she's invited back in the fall to come to first grade. (-_-)

She's in the class with her twin cousins Ryan and Megan. Ryan informed me that Kathrynn needs to come to first grade so she can go to college and become a mommy. LOL

On the one hand I resent the class. I resent my sister for suggesting it. I resent the teacher for being there. I resent the school system for existing at all. I am disappointed in myself for just letting it all happen. At least that's how it feels. I'm a little annoyed that Kathrynn wanted to go and more annoyed that she's liking it. It's hard for me to not nit-pick the whole damn class apart.

And it's terrifyingly horrible and nail-bitingly frustrating that I can't be there to see what's going on. I can't even watch through the window like at ballet. I'm such a freak.

What am I afraid of. I'm afraid that if she learns to read in this class she will be stuck with the idea that she had to go to this class to learn to read. I'm scared that if she DOESN'T learn to read in this class she will somehow think herself a failure.

Also I know everyone (family) is seeing this as a step to getting rid of all the silly ideas about Homeschooling.

Every ounce of my being (well almost) wants to run and throw up when I think of her being there. I know these are MY issues. I know I should definitely NOT pass them on to her. I can't shake the school as enemy feeling even though clearly she's in no immediate danger. LOL

*Sigh*

I feel like I'm being sucked into a black hole. I feel the need to be overly dramatic about it too. :(