I was going to comment to Mary Ellen's Comment below but decided it would take up too much room. And besides this gives me an outlet.

Mary Ellen said...
"Would it be rude of me to suggest that Shawn have a little snip-snip? He has enough kids to take care of already."

Tee hee. No, I don't think it would be rude. Useless possibly but not rude. In Shawn's defense he's not exactly careless about where he, uh, makes use of his functions. He was reasonable sure he would be around to raise his kids each time he helped make one. But sometimes life changes things.

Now is probably the appropriate time to mention that Shawn is now BACK in a relationship with his ex. Apparently my jealous cavewife instincts were much more in tune than I had hoped. Aside from my own personal reaction I do think the relationship has "Supremly Bad Idea" written all over it for so many reasons. But who am I to judge. We all make dumb choices. She has said she got her tubes tied after her last (5th) baby. I did recommend that he demand to see her medical records for proof before proceeding. Of course that didn't happen. I can only hope and pray he doesn't have another baby with her.

Every day I feel more and more like I need to get this divorce over ASAP. I'm not worried really about Shawn fighting me over anything in a divorce but I worry that Amy (or some other woman who is smarter than Shawn and may not have my kid's best interest at heart) might muck things up. Right now he seems willing to give me just about anything I want. I feel I should jump on that now. But at the same time I hate thinking about it that way. I don't want this to be messy. I would so rather he be a part of the kids life than just a child support check. But he's already showing signs of losing interest.

One reason I stayed with him so much longer than I should have is because while he may not be the best father to have around he's 100 times worse as an absent father. I've personally witnessed how little contact he has initiated with his other daughter. I didn't want that for my kids. But for the last 2 days he was at Amy's and didn't bother to call and say good night to the kids. Maybe it's unreasonable to expect him to call and say goodnight to the kids everyday for the rest of his life but right now I think they need it. And it totally pissed me off that he was so caught up in that life that he didn't make the effort. He has a tendency to only see what's in front of him. I guess my job is to make sure my kids are in front of him as much as possible.

Anyway I don't really want to vent here for the whole world to see. So I will stop now. He will likely never get a 'snip snip' even if he should. If he ever decides to I would be happy to volunteer to perform it personally. :)