I think I'm going for a worlds record on how many times I can blow up at Shawn in one sitting. He's driving me nuts. I walked out with Aiden the other night and walked to the dollar store contemplating the whole way if I would have enough money to support myself and the kids if I got a second job! LOL

He's looking for a new job. Which is all well and good. I was supportive of him quitting his old job but now I'm beginning to regret allowing him to do so. It stresses me out beyond belief that we're not going to have enough money to pay bills and he's being so damn picky about which jobs he's applying for. Really if he could get some piddly ass job for the time being, just bring in a couple hundred dollars a month I wouldn't mind continuing to work. But NO he's only interested in jobs he's not qualified for.

Then he wanted me to help him with his resume but the minute I offer any suggestion he says "no I worked hard on this I want it this way!" ???? And he keeps saying things like 'you can drive me to this place to drop of my resume on your day off'. GRRRRR!!!

Somehow, I know he existed and did things like eat, drive, and obtain clean clothing before I came into his life. God, sometimes I feel like Kathrynn is more independent than that man!!

Don't you hate it when something hysterically funny happens but there's no one else there to see it? Is it even really funny then? Like the tree falling in the woods thing. I mean *I* was there. And it was funny to me. But I hardly count and it won't be nearly as funny when I retell it. It was sort of a 'you had to be there' moment. But without anyone there...

I was at work making myself a latte. I call it a latte only to be cool because truly it was hardly a latte at all as I'm not a huge coffee fan. It had only 1/2 a shot of espresso and several shots of flavor. See, I was bored and I decided I needed practice making lattes. Our latte machine has been down a LONG time and no one is really clear on how they are made. Luckily I worked at an espresso stand when I was 17 (holy shit that was 10 years ago!!) so somewhere I have that muscle memory.

Anyway, I knew I wanted caramel in my 'latte' because caramel is the absolute best and I had just opened a fresh bottle. A woman had come in shortly before wanting a latte with caramel. I had pored out the shot and a FLY came glugging out with the liquid. EWK! So I opened a new one. So with fresh caramel I was on my way to the best 'latte' ever.

I also wanted it to have chocolate or mocha to use the proper lingo. But the chocolate we have is in a big bottle without a pump and frankly it's a pain in the ass. I remembered that we had white chocolate syrup though and thought that might be good to try. I found it amid the others. White chocolate latte syrup always makes me giggle because it's sort of milky opaque white and a little think not at all unlike another milky white substance. Picking it up I noticed that some of it had settled to the bottom. So I did the logical thing. I shook it.

Unfortunately whoever had last used it had not replaced the lid tightly and it went flying off, thus depositing drippy sticky milky white syrup all over the counter and nearby bottles. I was startled at first but as I watched it glisten in the sunlight I started laughing and couldn't stop. But there was no one there to share in my joy. :-( The next shift wouldn't start for several more hours and while I thought of leaving it for him to see, I'm sure he wouldn't find it nearly as comical as I did in the moment.

So, sadly I cleaned it all up and giggled as I poured a shot into my faux latte.

Sometimes working alone really sucks.

So, because my whole goal in life is to be like Chelee, I went and signed up for AIM. I figured that the couple hours I spend online each night reading, posting, and chatting can't possibly be nearly enough so I'm opening yet another avenue for me to waste time there. :-D

If anyone else has AIM and wants to waste some of their own precious time chatting with me feel free.

My username is tricky though, so make sure you pay close attention...

KatieGutleben

All the cool variations I usually use were all taken. Damn AIM, damn stupid people who think they have a right to be Katgut, damn everyone!

A charming young Hispanic couple came into the gas station where I work yesterday looking frantically for something. Not finding it on any of the shelves they came to ask me if we carried condoms. Unfortunately the man had a very heavy accent and it took me a few uncomfortable seconds to understand exactly what he was asking for. I did finally understand, without the need for any hand gestures or cherades. Which is good.

However understanding what he was looking for was only half of the problem, because I honestly wasn't sure if we carried condoms at all. Thinking quick I glanced around at the behind the counter stuff, cigarettes, disposable cameras, batteries, but no condoms. Undaunted I walked out from behind the counter and into the store to help them look on the 'health and beauty aids' aisle. I had no recollection of seeing them there. But doon't condoms seem like something a convenience store SHOULD carry? Especially one that is directly across for the most questionable hotel in town? So there I was with this lovely couple who were clearly in a hurry, looking for condoms trying to act as though this was something akin to serving them a bean and cheese burrito.

Not seeing condoms anywhere amid the toothbrushes and Tylenol I gave up, appologized, and headed back to my post behind the counter. About halfway there it suddenly dawned on me where the condoms were. They were in a machine in the bathroom. Very helpful news to the couple although they might have preferred that I not tell them from across the room in a now crowded convenience store.

And then he needed a quarter. And then two because it takes fifty cents. And all this while I had to help them while trying not to make too much eye contact because I knew they were about to go have sex. Before long the happy couple was on their way out the door and they thanked me for my help. It was all I could do not to shout out a hearty "good luck, have fun!" But I did contain myself.

I hope all went well for them.

Dawn posted this slanderous post on her blog.

In my own defense I would like to state that I have very rarely, if ever, demanded sex as payment for a meal. And on such occasion that I may have ever done so it was only when the food was DAMN good and the diner equally so.

I have in fact fed many people without the merest intent of having sex with them.

While I do feel that the offer of sex from a dinner guest would be an appropriate way of showing one's appreciation for the time and effort that went into the meal, it would never be expected.

It's like if a guest brings a bottle of wine without being asked. It's just a gesture. A way of saying thank you. A hostess gift, if you will.

I will not speak for Shawn however. Someday he may read this blog (haha) and I will let him defend himself. But if what Dawn says is true, I think the world is plenty safe because Shawn almost never cooks.

I just re-read my last post and realized it could be misconstrued as a plea for Troy to get naked. Not that I am at all opposed to Troy getting naked. But I think I will leave that to Chelee... And as a personal policy, I don't beg.

Ok, I'm generally not one to pick on a man about clothes. But god dammit Chelee wash his damn shirt!! ;-)

Yesterday at homeschool PE I pointed out a spot on Troy's shirt. Right smack in the middle. It looked like it was a wet spot where he had been drooling or something. He said it was butter from popcorn and Chelee told us the awesome story about putting an entire stick of melted butter on a bowl of popcorn. This places the time of the spot on the shirt roughly sometime Sunday night I'm guessing. Homeschool PE was at 1:30 on Monday.

Tonight at Albertsons I ran into Troy. And not only was he wearing the same shirt but it still had the greese spot! It's Tuesday. It was after 8:30 pm!!

I'm disgusted!

Troy, take it off! Please!

I've been out of public school now for almost 10 years. Which is astounding when I stop to really think about it.

Back when I was in school I wasn't a very popular kid. No, really. In fact I was decidedly unpopular. I'm not sure exactly how I happened to fall under that unpopular umbrella. I was always unpopular for as long as I can recall. I mean I had friends but there's a large gap between having some friends and being 'popular'.

I switched schools in between 4th and 5th grade because I was enrolled in the GATE (gifted) program. So then not only was I in an unpopular program (we were hated by the 'normal' kids in the school) but I was pretty unpopular within the program as well. Again I'm not entirely sure why. I'm sure at the time it was pretty obvious but looking back I don't remember having any really particular behaviors or anything that would predispose me to unpopularity.

In Jr.High I was in a group. I think being in a group was necessary for survival. Our group was an odd assortment of gals. Me, Leanne, Roseann, Lori, and Sara. We did strange things. We made up a whole written language we would use to pass notes. We would Jitterbug outside at luchtime and we held hands in the hallways. We turned the top square sections of our lockers into houses for little stuffed rabbits who had names, personalities and very dramatic lives. Ok now I can kinda see why we were pretty unpopular. ;-) But still it's no excuse for the band of popular kids to circle around and throw rocks. Which they did and when we complained to the administrators we were told to ignore them and not incite them... Apparently our mere existence was reason enough to drive them to violence.

In 8th grade (if I remember correctly) there was a new girl. Who's name I won't disclose. She immediately fell in with the in crowd. And she was the biggest bitch in the 8th grade. Biggest only in bitchiness because in stature she was the smallest 8th grader ever.

She picked on us endlessly and we hated her. We would sing "Little Woman, walking down the street, little woman the kind you hate to meet..." in her honor. Never to her face, mind you.

Once we were in Highschool things got better. I think we all grew up a bit and the pecking order was firmly established. No one felt the need to throw rocks anymore and we were allowed for the most part to just do our thing. 'Little Woman was in my Seminary class one year and I think she may have even apologized in tears to 'anyone I was ever mean to when I first moved here'. Perhaps that should have smoothed everything out but I still hated her.

Today at Winco I ran into her for the first time since graduation. I recognized her from the side but didn't say anything. She saw me and recognized me. She asked me if I was Katie and if I went to Richland. I said yes and played nice. We talked a little and introduced our kids. She had a cartload. Three were hers and one was a friend. Her oldest couldn't have been more than 4.

After we first bumped into each other I ran into her 2 more times before I left the store. She was nice and she must have grown at some point because she was no where near as tiny as I remember her being. Her children were itty bitty though. Tiny little thin, blond, pale kids.

And I will admit to feeling satisfied that my kids are WAY cuter than hers! ;-)

Many of you know my mom personally and can concur that she's nuts. Some of you met her for the first time last night and don't yet grasp her nuttiness. Others of you don't know her, never will, and probably don't care. But anyway, she's crazy.

I was talking it over with my sister today and it seems that she's just gotten crazier and crazier over the years. Don't get me wrong. I love my mom. But she's still crazy!

My mom teaches child birth classes with a local midwife. And this week she started a new class and who should appear in her class but The Adulterous Whore! I knew she was pregnant, my sister knew she was pregnant, you all knew she was pregnant because I posted it in my blog long ago. But somehow my mom had missed the fact entirely until AW showed up 8 months pregnant in her birthing class.

Naturally, my mom freaked out and assumed that SHAWN was the father of this baby. He's not. She called my sister to tell her and told her not to tell me. But I was standing right there and I've known for MONTHS!

Now my mom is mad at ME for not warning her. Apparently I did her a 'great disservice' by not telling her in advance that AW was pregnant and MIGHT happen into her birth class. Hu??

And AW did this all on purpose because she's a vindictive bitch. She got pregnant and sought out the childbirth classes where my mom taught just so she could show up and freak my mom out. No, really this is what my mom says. She says that AW went out of her way to say her name TWICE! Twice she introduced herself and she made sure to tell the class her daughters name as well. Not because she's a mom and in the class and introducing herself LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! No, SHE did it just to be sure that my mom knew EXACTLY who she was.

Not only that but she then called my mom AT HOME! Sure she used the cover of having a "question about class" but really she just did it to rile my mother further!

COME ON!! Yes, I hate her. I have that right. But good lord everyone in my family needs to just get over it! Yes she a whorey slut who had an affair with my husband and *I* get to glare at her in public and rant about it later but the whole rest of the world doesn't have to shun her as well. She still has to right to attend fricking childbirth classes!

Why is it that I can recognize the her every move in life is not just to get on my case. Why is it that I can see her at the park and just avoid her and not even think for a moment that she's stalking me trying to screw with my head? I'm sure that she's moved on and barely thinks of me at all.

But my mom's still sure it's Shawn's baby. She told my sister when it comes out half Korean everyone will see that she's right! That comment makes me particularly angry and angrier still because I know that to my face she would assure me that it wasn't Shawn's baby but behind my back this is what she thinks. Honestly, it makes me want to move away from her. Unfortunately if I recall correctly the baby's father is Mexican so my mom will take one look at a black haired baby and go on believing what she wants to.

Well we had kathrynn's birthday party yesterday. Thanks to all who came and brought gifts, sorry Kathrynn is such a kid and was only interested in the gifts! ;-)

If I were a more organized person with more money who wasn't working full time and I didn't have an extremly unhelpful husband it would have been a way cooler party. But I think the kids had fun even if the grown ups all looked pretty bored.

Next year she'll be 7 and I think we'll try a drop-your-kid-off party. Because believe it or not I think kids are easier to organize than grown ups.

The unicorn cake was a hit. Well except fot the forces of gravity! Damn gravity! I will post pictures eventually.

I've always thought it would be neat to be a surrogate mom. I love being pregnant and giving birth and I've always had healthy pregnancies and straight forward births. I think it's something I'm good at. I should use it to help others right?

Last night (late) my sister called me. She told me that when she had met with her meds nurse they had talked about kids and stuff and she found out that this woman has a genetic disorder called Stickler's syndrome. I guess she had one child but the pregnancy caused some retinal detachment and if she carries another baby she could go blind. So she's looking into having a surrogate. My sister mentioned that I had an interest in this. She's going to get us emailing eachother I think! :-)

I'm excited at the thought of it.

Shawn is concerned I would get to attached. But I think if I went into it with the right mindset (which I think I have) that it could be an extremely rewarding opportunity!

I'm off to research!

You've all met Aiden I think. You know he isn't exactly the most 'normal' child. And that's part of his charm. But lately on the days that I work he's been a little worse. Ok a lot worse. Worse enough that the only appropriate word I can come up with to describe him is BASKET CASE! Screaming, throwing himself on the floor in an inconsolable pile of sadness and frustration. He's always been a pretty easily frustrated kid but this has been WAY over the top. Even for Aiden.

Shawn and I are in disagreement as to what the primary cause of this behavior is.

Essentially I blame him for feeding him crap all day (or alternately not feeding him ANYTHING! all day.)

And he blames me for coddling him. Why is that always the issue? Why is it everything Shawn remotely dislikes about our children is traced to my wellspring of coddling? For god's sake if I didn't coddle HIM where would we be? Stupid grown up little boys!

Anyway my logic says that not a lot has changed for Aiden since I've been working. Basically Aiden likes to play alone. Shawn's pretty supportive of that and his drawing and playing on the computer which are two things that make Aiden happiest. So aside from the actual difference between me and Shawn not much of the day to day routine has really changed. Except food. Not that I'm big on fixing meals and such. I do try to plan a dinner most nights that at least 2/3 of my family will eat. But for the rest of the day we all pretty much just graze.

But yesterday I had premade some mac and cheese so I told Shawn "there's mac and cheese in the fridge just heat that up for the kids". Which he did. When I got home though there was a plate still on the table and I asked shawn about it. He said he had fixed it but Aiden didn't eat any. I asked if he had made him something else. NO.

He doesn't understand that when I tell him his job as the 'at home' parent is to make sure Aiden eats something I don't mean force him to eat whatever you make. I mean learn about you damn child and make sure that you include something nutritious that he WILL eat at least occasionally.

So today I went out and got a bunch of bulk less-crappy snack food. I figure with almonds, peanuts, sunflower seeds, yogurt covered pretzels, and such out on the table readily accessible Aiden himself can make sure he gets the protein he heeds even if Daddy is a fink!

We'll see..

I signed up for a Gmail account from google. Because Erin sent me a personal invitation to do so. Lured by their promise of being one of the primary testers of this new service (tee hee) I went ahead a signed up.

But I've noticed it's hard to really 'use' an email service when no one knows that you have it. There are no emails and all.

So EVERYONE send me an email at katguts at gmail dot com.

Thank you.

I learned a long time ago not to judge other people's relationships. Because unless you are one of the people inside the relationship there are obviously things you just CAN NOT see. I realized this first when I got married and no one could fathom why in the hell I was marrying Shawn. OK, admittedly over the years there have been times when I have asked myself the same thing. ;) But I like Shawn and overall it seems perfectly reasonable to go on living with him because he annoys me less than my birth family and I lived with them for 18 years! I was really offended though when people (people being my family and closest friends) would look at our relationship and portent it's failure.

But then all my friends started getting engaged and married. And it all became clear. Well clearer, because they were all marrying idiots who I couldn't stand! And I found myself planning to count the days before the marriage ended. As a matter of fact I couldn't think of one relationship of someone my own age that made any kind of logical sense at all.

So anyway, like I said I've learned that for the most part it's not worth wondering why people are together. But then there are people like my co-worker. HOLY GOD!

He's been married and divorced twice which I don't hold against him at all but now he has this girlfriend! And she is the devil! I swear she has to be the biggest bitch I've ever met! Not to me mind you. She's perfectly nice to me. But to him she's a huge rag! Admittedly I haven't seen much of them as a couple but EVERY time I have seen them together they are fighting. FIGHTING! Nit-picking and saying things to eachother that are, well, just plain mean. And they're dating!

I don't get it. It makes sense to me that over time some couples turn into this. Turn into people who by all outward appearances just hate each others guts. I could see that after years and years of being with someone. But when you're dating? Isn't there some sort of unwritten code of conduct that says that during the dating period, at least, you are supposed to be trying to win the person over by showing them the absolute best of yourself? Hell, I've been married almost 7 years and Shawn and I are still at the very least polite to eachother. We're not all sunshine and light and sure we get angry but nothing like these people. Nothing.

And they're dating!

I guess I'm a firm believer in 'Just Walk AWAY!' If you are dating someone and it's THIS bad and you have no biological ties (ie: kids) just walk away! How can people plan to build any kind of relationship when they're basically starting out at a deficit? With nothing to build on?

I don't get it. I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it.

As I said there must be something in that relationship that holds them together. Something buried deep below all of the bitterness and spite that they show off on the outside.

I guess all I can do is wish them well.

If there's one thing more depressing than being the sole provider for my family working full time making $7.16 an hour it's the fact that there's ABSOLUTLY no way in HELL that that money is going to cover all of my bills!

So not only am I woking my ass off and being away from my family all day, but it's not even doing any DAMN good!!!

On the plus side...

Because we can't afford pull-ups for bedtime both of my kids are finally going to learn to go to the bathroom at night. One way or the other.

While driving I heard an ad stating that a local Pawn Shop is having a 'Patriots Day Sale' on September 11th.

Their catch line...

Come buy that gun you've always wanted!

CREEPY!