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Friday, October 31, 2003

Book Links 

I added some more links. Mostly to books. Yes, I do read. Not nearly as obsessively as some people I know but I do.

All those books over there so far are about unschooling. Yes, I read, no, I don't read for recreation. :) And whenever possible I tried to link to the publisher rather than the big online mass seller of everything. I'm not sure why. I guess it just feels noble. Actually I was berated a bit on a list somewhere for buying a book from them rather than the publisher. So I felt guilty enough to seek out the websites of the publishers and post them instead.

See I AM a good person... I am! *sob*


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Someone's Been Reading My Blog!!! 

I suspect that the ads on the google ad spot at the top of the page are in fact NOT randomly generated. I mentioned past lives and suddenly ads for websites about past lives appear above. And on M'ellen's sight she talked about shaving and now there are websites about hair removal.

It makes me wonder how hard these things are to manipulate. I wonder if I mention some off the wall thing like The New York Stock Exchange if it will link to something about it. Hmmmm...

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Finally Some SEX for Your Reading Pleasure 

Not sex exactly but a sex dream at least. Well not a SEX dream persay but a dream that did involve nakedness with someone other than my husband. :o

Yep, I had a showering dream about Mike . Here it is. Enjoy!

Apparently Dawn gave Mike a picture of me only it was my head cut and pasted atop a much thinner modelesque body. So he gave her a picture of his head atop some other buffed and fit body to give to me. (why all this effort when we KNOW eachother in real life? Beats me). SO there we were in Dawn's parent's shower (weird?). And I was lathering myself seductively while he was leering at me. I felt a little self conscious because I didn't know if I was turning him on or grossing him out and I didn't want to look him in the eye. Then I woke up.

I've pinned down a little bit of the roots of this dream. For one if you read my blog yesterday you know I hadn't showered. :) And right before I went to bed I had read Mike's blog about hating his body and could definitely relate. Plus I did have a big 'ol crush on him when we worked at McDonalds and he called everyone a lesbian.

And I was also reading a book last night called Jungsoon about two Korean women during the Korean war and they talked about giving pictures of their kids to matchmakers to get them married off.

Anyway that's probably enough freaky sexual content for one day. :)




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Have You Seen This Woman?? 

It seems everywhere I go people recognize me. Ask anyone who goes anywhere with me (that would be Dawn) and they will tell you it is so. It happens often enough as to be uncanny. I have a few theories...

The Multiple Personality Theory.

I have a multiple personality disorder and all those many hours I remember as sitting home doing nothing are actually spent in a very active social life that I have no recollection of. This 'other Katie' must be quite a socialite judging by the numbers of strangers I meet who know me. This would also explain why I'm tired all the time even though I've generally done nothing but sit on my ass all day.

The Past Life Theory

The cosmic forces have aligned in such a way that I'm meeting people from several past lives all right here right now.

The Evil Twin Theory

There are two of me. And the other one gets out a lot and has a lot of friends while I sit around my house and don't clean it. I guess in that scenario *I* am actually the evil twin. Cool.

The Average Jo(ann) Theory

My appearance is so completely average that I look enough like everyone that people see me and automatically assume they've seen me before.

The I'm Getting Damn Old And I've Never Lived Anywhere But Here Theory

All these people HAVE seen me before because I've lived in this fricking town my whole fricking life and that life is getting longer and longer every day!! And consequently my memory of these people is fading at an exponential rate.

The I'm Too Sexy Theory

I'm SO damn attractive that all these people are just using that as their opening line to try to date me. :) We all know that "don't I know you from somewhere" is one of the oldest lines known to man (and, apparently in my case, women as well).

The Matrix Theory

I's all an illusion. Everything that's happening is being programmed by an intelligent thinking machine. And right now it is delighting in screwing with me.

Well, one of these is bound to be correct. Who knows which. For now I will just enjoy my near celebrity status. :)



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Thursday, October 30, 2003

Filthy Dirty Hot Steamy Kinky SEX!!! 

I have been informed that there is not enough sex in my blog. All I can say is that it is a very realistic portrayal of my life. :) but here you go...

Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex.

That should satisfy those in need. ;)


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Me the Entertainer 

I haven't left my house all day. In fact I haven't even showered or put on a bra (how's that for more information than you needed? :) ). And yet I have entertained considerably more guests in my home than average today.

First my husband's friend Mark showed up while I was making pancakes with Kathrynn for breakfast. Shortly after he left Brianna (Bree-ON-uh) from next door showed up and played for a while. Then she left and came back later with her older sister Amanda and they all played with the playdough we made yesterday. Then they went home for a bit and then came back with their mother asking if I could watch them while she ran to the store.

While they were here two other neighbor kids showed up as well. Brianna (Bree-ANN-uh) and Jacob. They are 9 and 5. They were knocking on my back door explaining that their mother had to go run errands and they were apparently supposed to find someone who could watch them for an hour.

That was a little odd. I don't really even know these kids and their mom is very wary of letting them go in to people's houses. And here they were at my back door with their school bags asking me if I could watch them. No parent in sight.

So they were added to my brood for a bit. 2 nine year olds, 3 five year olds, and a three year old all running about my very messy apartment while my husband was trying to sleep! :)

Actually, since I had no idea where the mother of these two was, or when she would be home, or what she would think of her children being in my house, I decided to clean the living room. So some good came of it. Pam came and collected her kids for dinner a bit later and eventually the other two noticed their mom's car was home so they went too.

Pam came back over (with her whole family) to use our computer and was here while I ate my supper.

And here I sit, still unshowered and unbra'ed. :) And it's almost ten and there is very little hope of either of these things happening tonight.

But my living room is clean and I actually managed to prepare two whole meals today. :)

I feel I have accomplished much!


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The Twang Infiltration 

I was talking yesterday to Dawn about my ever deteriorating taste in music. It's a sad sad phenomenon.

First let me say that my taste in music is on the eclectic side. I don't know it's just not a big thing to me. I like music. I have a really hard time remembering singers and song titles which makes having 'favorites' a tad difficult. The truth is I'm not terribly picky. Most of my life I have always just tended to listen to 'whatever is on'. I've owned very little music of my own and it was mostly stuff I couldn't get on regular radio (They Might Be Giants springs to mind). But even things like that I only got into because the 'guy' was into it.

So for most of my young adult years and early in my marriage I listened to whatever 'pop' station had the weekly top 40 countdown. In the last few years I found myself switching more and more often to an 'easy listening' station. Until one day I realized that it was all I was listening too. The 'pop' station sounds like noise to me now.

In the last year or so I've found myself switching more and more to the country station. *gasp* Now even the easy listening station has started to sound like meaningless drivel. And country songs, twangy, depressing country songs have become full of 'meaningful lyrics'.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?

I'm finding myself driving down the road listening to some country singer and I'm bawling my eyes out.

You have to understand. I went to high school in the 90's there were too groups 'goat ropers' who listened to country music and sane people who laughed at them.

How does this happen? Either it's my age or it's a conspiracy by the Country Music people. My vote is for the latter.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Added Mary Ellen 

I added Mary Ellen's blog to my list of links. And as I was doing it I wondered if it would be totally out of line for me to shorten her name to Mellen or perhaps M'Ellen. :P

Mary Ellen is jut so much to type! Yes, it IS only 9 letters but there's that space, and I have to capitalize the E right there in the middle. What the hell?? Does she think I'm some kind of super typist or something?

So maybe she's reading this. Here's her chance to speak up. But until then she will be known on my blog from this moment on as Mellen. :)

Hey I could cut the middles out of everyone's names! I bet they'd hate that! :)

How about it Dn, Ln, Mn, Ce? :D

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

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I'm SO Pathetic 

I was going to post about how pathetic I am. I was thinking of using the term Mayor of Patheticville.

But that didn't really seem like enough so I decided to elevate my status to President of Patheticland.

And then I thought 'Why stop there? I have no competition'. I can be the Supreme Chancellor of the United Federation of the Pathetic Universe!

While I'm at it I could just be the Goddess of Patheticism.

So WAS going to write a post all about how pathetic I am. But really, if you've read this far, you can see for yourself. :)


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Coming out of the Candy Closet. 

The aforementioned candy... ALL OVER MY FREAKING LIVING ROOM FLOOR!!!!!

*sigh*

You know what I realized. I don't like candy.

How weird is that? I hope people don't hate me for that. Who doesn't like candy??? It's freakish!

I mean I always sort of knew I didn't like certain candies. You know cheap hard candies that are made entirely of corn syrup, and suckers (Oh how I loathe suckers!). But I always went along with the popular notion that candy was just something everyone wanted. Candy was a normal thing to like.

Then I started to realize, standing there in the candy aisle that the only things that vaguely appealed to me anymore were Rese's candies with peanut butter in them. I still at least had that. I could sit in a room full of people enjoying candy and have a Rese's and still feel totally normal.

But now I don't even like THEM! Or rather they don't like me. They make my tongue break out in splotches. And PAIN! So it's not worth it anymore.

I'm tired of living this lie. So There, World. Take that. I don't like candy and I'm PROUD!

Oh, what will all the other moms say?

;)


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Sunday, October 26, 2003

Every Day is Halloween!! 

My son is a big anti-social freak! We went to Trunk-or-Treat at my mom's church today and Aiden refused to wear his costume. He was very polite about it though. No matter what I said to try to coerce him into the costume he kept repeating "No Tank You" and "No Tanks!" :)

He did like the candy though. After going to a couple cars he danced around and made up a song about his candy. LOL

Kathrynn wore her Princess costume all day and my fakey terrible 'hem' is already half fallen out. Lucky for me she didn't care in the least. Also I think next year I will make a concerted effort to NOT make her costume in dark purple satin. She was practically invisible in the dark outside!

The kids came home and we dumped all the candy into a big bowl on the counter for us all to share. But they haven't touched it since.

We have a tradition each year. They can have as much candy as they want until it's gone. I refuse to ration candy. And if they take something and don't like it they are encouraged to throw it away and get something else. I love that it's all free and I don't feel the need to freak out about it. I love Halloween! :)


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Friday, October 24, 2003

Making order from chaos. 

Inspired by Dawn's new and improved pink blog I decided to mess with the formatting of mine. My first instinct of course was that I shouldn't mess with things I don't understand. HTML would definitely be one of those things. Is it in fact HTML?? That's how much I know about it.

What I quickly figured out though is that screwing with the template of my blog is really no more difficult than, say, writing a book about physics in Indonesian. :) Which meant, to me, plagiarize! So I managed to add some links and some link categories which was a simple matter of copying and modifying what was already there and messing with it until it was right.

And I did it! And it was good! :)

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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Dave is a BAD INFLUENCE! 

My sweet little compliant daughter went to a class today at the children's museum. It was on bugs but I don't think she noticed. She seemed to have had fun. But it's hard to tell with her because she's a lot like me. I just enjoy experiences. It doesn't matter the quality of the experience it's just having experienced something that's important.

But afterwards we went out with Dawn and Dave. Dawn asked Dave what he thought of the class he said it was long and boring. It was an hour and a half! :) So when Kathrynn was telling daddy about the class this evening all she would say was that it was long and boring.

I asked her and she had no idea what boring even meant! She just knew that it wasn't a good thing and it was what Dave thought so he must be right.

*sigh*

I'm not sure if it's more or less frustrating to know that I am EXACTLY the same! Will someone please tell me which it is? ;)

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Monday, October 20, 2003

In the Stirrups 

This is odd.

I got invited to a lesbian bar in Seattle by a friend who lives there.

It's called the Wild Rose.

This wouldn't in itself seem odd at all except that's also the name of my midwife's clinic! So then it begs the question :

If I go to this Wild Rose in Seattle how many similarities to my midwifes clinic would I find?

Would there be a 50 something hippy woman there checking out my breasts? Probably.

Would there be women there willing and eager to poke at my vagina? Likely!

In fact I imagine the combined knowledge of vaginas (vaginal knowledge ?) of both places would be staggering.

I wonder if the lesbian bar holds LaLeche League meetings on the second Tuesday of each month as well...

So maybe it's a sign I should go. Or perhaps it's a sign I shouldn't. Or maybe it's just a sign that I'm two years overdue for a pap smear.

*sigh*

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Sunday, October 19, 2003

Fakey Freak, or Freaky Fake? 

I pride myself on being a radical freak. Well I try hard to be one anyway. Is that sad? I mean there are, presumably, people out there who are exerting all of THEIR energy trying NOT to stand out. And then there's me. Is it sick, or just sad? Is it really as close to poking out my own eyes so I can use the white cane as it seems?

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Why don't I have 2 daughters? Or do I? 

My son wore a dress around all evening and all I can say is Damn they boy looks adorable in a dress!

I would let him out like that. I might have a hard time admitting that he was a boy but who cares. And with a name like Aiden he could pull it off. Is it wrong to cross dress a 3 year old?

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Saturday, October 18, 2003

What the hell?? And WHY?!?! 

So, I think everyone else has a blog. I guess I must have one as well. This might finally be my golden ticket to popularity. Although probably it's not.

I thought of calling it Wit-less. Because everyone else's blogs are so witty and mine will be crap. I though of calling it Crap. But I'm guessing that is taken as I'm sure thousands of other people out there have low self esteem. So Benign Convictions it is. If you don't see the humor there then try using your dictionary and don't come whinin' to me.

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