Last night I turned down a last minute invitation to a clothing optional party complete with co-ed naked pudding wrestling.

I feel so old.

At the 7-11 where I work we are carrying a new cigarette lighter. It looks like an alarmingly real (if tiny) gun. With a scope/flashlight and everything. At $6.99 it's cool enough that I'm sure people will buy it. I want one. Not because I need a lighter (I don't) but because the instructions on the back are among the finest examples of Engrish I have ever personally encountered.

For your reading pleasure...

ZHILIDE SMOKINGSET
Usage elucidation:
Fold to light the fire gun. The wide range of application be applicable to the family, church, bar, dance hall, birthday candle to can be used for the lighting again. Fold to light the fire gun. Can at 180 Any angle inside the angle lights the fire, special is a deep cup central point fire.

Well, if that elucidation isn't clear enough, what would be? LOL

It's also worth noting the warning on the side of the box "Aveid children being burmt" Yes, please aveid burming the children.

I may have to spend the $6.99.

That's how long I went without seeing my husband. It's somewhat biblical isn't it? LOL

Last Wednesday plans were made. Turned out Shawn had a delivery in Portland and they were due for a 36 hour 'reset' (I don't know what that means) So they would be in Portland for the weekend. Could I make it down for some much needed family time (and some NON-family time). Absolutely! So I OK'd it with my boss and skipped out on work Thursday night. Thursday morning I headed down for 3 glorious days in Portland. The trip was flawless and the sex was amazing!
*~*~*


Ok, no it didn't happen that way. Instead Shawn called at the last minute to say Don't come because their reset had been postponed because their next stop was Finley! (Colstor to be exact... LOL) So instead of driving the 4 hours to see him I got to let him do the driving. They had their 36 hours here with the family and we enjoyed a weekend of normal life, with great sex.
*~*~*


Ok, nope. What actually happened was he got to come to Finley, we met him at the truck stop. We had exactly one and a half hours to cram in 40 missed days of time together. The kids were very happy to see him and very sad to see him go again. And the sex was NOT amazing. To top the whole thing off I talked to him again the next morning and he was Still in town. His trainer had decided he was too tired to drive so they had stayed the night in their truck in Finley! He had tried to call but I was already asleep. We could have had the whole night together as a family. But his trainer is a dick.

And now he's off again. Last I heard he was in Iowa heading for New York. I guess this is a good first lesson in the cruelly unpredictable life of a truckers wife.

My kids are doing amazingly well at my parents. My parents are doing surprisingly well with my kids. I'm shocked, actually. My kids are playing so well together too. I honestly didn't expect this arrangement to work at all. I obviously grossly underestimated them all. I'm so glad! :)

I have a really hard time not nit-picking Kathrynn's school experience apart. I know I shouldn't. It's by no means horrible. Over all she's really enjoying it. But damn it's like I've been to the promised land and now I've been cast back out. LOL

Friday her school had a skate party. It was fun. It WAS fun. I will give it that. One of the other moms I had met who has a daughter in Kathrynn's class was there so I didn't feel like a total alien intruder. I was the ONLY mom who skated (and there were probably close to 200 kids there). And my kids thought that was pretty damn cool. Kathrynn didn't really know anyone there though she seemed pretty content to just skate around and have fun. She's starting to lose that sense that she can just be friends with anyone she wants to. It's sad to me. Maybe I can't blame it on school. Maybe it's just she's growing up. But I prefer to blame it on school. She's always been so unafraid and sure that everyone would like her. I hate to see that go.

I met two of the moms of kids in Kathrynn's class (one above) their names are Toni and Kristin. They came and talked to me because Kathrynn had befriended them on the playground after school one day. I tried to talk to them, I did. I felt like I was being good and social. They were really nice. Thursday I went to Kathrynn's school to have lunch with her (Cheese Zombies!!) and Toni and Kristin were volunteering in the classroom (well they were in the hall) and I talked to them a bit. Toni said she had seen me the day before after school and waved but that I must not have seen her or I was just a snob. It was a JOKE. I know it was but I can't help but worry that they might think that. I've heard before that I can come across as snobby when really I'm just feeling completely awkward and inferior. Also I don't know what to say to them because I totally can't relate to the first grade parent experience. I do a lot of nodding and smiling. Ahhh!

Also I feel like everyone else gets how this system works except me. Like when we drop the kids off we're supposed to pull all the way around the circle which takes us WAY far from the front of the building. The first time I did it I didn't pull all the way around and a lady in a fluorescent vest yelled at me. On Kathrynn's first day I was trying to cross the parking lot and a lady blew a whistle at me because apparently I was crossing at the wrong spot (and setting a bad example). I'm so not cut out for school parenting. I'm too used to freedom. Whaaaa!

I know I'm just bitching and moaning and being silly. I can't blame all of the ills in life on school, as much as I might like to. They did get to go on a field trip to an orchard and pick an apple. That must count for something.

A co-worker turned me on to a new radio sataion. 95.7 Bob FM. We listen to it now at work each night. Loud enough sometimes to drown out the cutomers. ;) The thing I love about Bob is that they play all kinds of music. ALL kinds of music. That's the concept. Their tag line is "Hits of the 80's 90's and... whatever." Tee hee. They also don't play the same song more than once in a day. So we go through a lot of "Ohhhh! I remmember this song! Turn it up!" Which is how it gets so loud. :)

All of their self promotion is very sarcastic and self degrading. I find I'm very suseptable to their tone of sarcasm. Their 'yes, we're dorks, we know it, we don't care' tone. The same one that you find in the Jack N the Box advertising and the same one Burger Kind is trying to copy. I'm just plain putty to that kind of thing... can't explain that.

Anyway at first Bob appeared to have one sole advertiser. Phelps and Associates (at 1-800-not-guilty) which is a law firm that specialized in criminal cases and DUI. LOL apparently the had done some careful demographics research and found that the people who were most likely to listen to this station were 30 something drunks and criminals. They have since added a few more advertisers.

Has anyone else discovered Bob?

You can only imagine the delight I feel right now. It appears that by switching schools we have inadvertently managed to evade the moron math! Hooo Ray! The math at Wiley appears to be much more humane. At least so far. I met Kathrynn's teacher. She seemed nice. I don't know exactly why I didn't like the other one. I think because she was young. And blond. Maybe.

Shawn's wallet got stolen. So I had to cancel our account and open a new one. I chose US Bank since there's one inside his training center. Didn't really help too much since I couldn't put him on the account without him being here. LOL But I needed to find a new bank anyway since there are no Yakima Federals in Utah.

We're having another yardsale this weekend. Hoping to make more $$. Well not more than last time by any means but more... than we have now. You know.

I'm going to get trained to do ordering at work. Probably means a pay raise but also extra guilt at the fact that I would quit that job in half of a heartbeat for any job that was during normal human hours. I haven't told my boss that I'm planning to move as soon as feasible to Utah. I'm a coward. He's had such a hard time filling the position and he acts like I'm the answer to his prayers. Damn I hate disappointing people.

I'm all moved into my parents house. Moving this weekend in the RAIN was an adventure. LOL But it's all done and now we're adjusting. Actually the adjusting is going pretty well. Aiden, especially, is MUCH happier at my parents than he was at my sisters. Less chaos.

We're having to iron out a few 'I'm the parent you're the grandparent' wrinkles but all in all it's going well. I say with a grin since it's only been 3 days! LOL

After two weeks in limbo we finally got Shawn squared away with his license in Ohio so he can start the driving classes! Yeah! He could have been DONE by now but instead there are two more weeks of classes and then 4 weeks of actual driving in training. I'm not sure if he will be coming home in between. I sure hope he does. Even if it's just for one night!! We've never been apart this long.

The yardsale was a semi-huge success. We made almost $300 on Saturday! But Sunday we made only $7. LOL worse yet 'someone' stole a $50 bill out of the cash pile Sunday before we started. I have a few suspicions but no way to prove anything.

I can't believe I managed to actually move. I couldn't have done it without all the help from my family. Neal was absolutely useless. Worse than that. He was a hindrance. I'm glade he's moved to Yakima. I don't expect to hear from him any time soon.

I'm switching Kathrynn to Wiley elementary in West. I think it will make life easier since it's just down the road. Plus I had a huge blow out with my sister this afternoon. I want to have as little to do with her as possible and I think that will help.

Ok there's more to write but I can't now. I hate my parents keyboard! :)